DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER!
by Vsasseranbuninjafromkonoha
Summary: This is a funny story that entails the Jonin and Chunin having phones and using them like children! Hopefully you will enjoy. [LOVE IS IN THE AIR! Just a hint though.] Sorry if I messed up but this was hard I'm tired and I just want to get this posted and over with!


**Yes I know somebody has already written this, but those were only the younger genin I want to pump it up to the higher ranks!**

**MESSAGING SHINOBI**

**FIRST UP ANKO: **_Hi you've reached Anko, Kurenai if you are calling to go on a double date with some guy that Asuma so happens to be friends with no, Asuma if you want information on Kurenai no, Kakashi be at the training grounds at 3:00 you still owe me a spar, Iruka if your calling for me to watch your stupid class find somebody else, Gai yes Kakashi is still more hip then you, Shizune I don't have any sake for Tsunade, Genma I don't have any senbon, and Ibiki I will not take care of interrogation again!_

Message 1: _(Kurenai) _Really Anko? I heard he was a nice guy! I'm pretty sure he isn't as perverted as the last one! Call me back!

Message 2: _(Asuma) _But Anko I really need to know what flowers she likes you know for the double date tonight. And if Kurenai hasn't told you he isn't that perverted. Call me back!

Message 3: _(Kakashi) _Wow long message. Anyways can you make the spar five I hear that there is going to be a lot of elderly needing help with their bags? Just let me know.

Message 4: _(Iruka) _Come on they weren't that bad. Please just for an hour? I hear they really like you.

Message 5: _(Gai) _Kakashi has brainwashed you ANKO-CHAN! His hip attitude is nothing compared to my blossoms of youth!

Message 6: _(Kakashi and Gai fighting over phone) _Gai if you want to make a stupid message use your own phone! / No it is not as amazingly youthful as yours! / Then buy one just as good! / I spent all of my money on youthful spandexes! / I don't care give me the phone! / NEVER!

Message 7: _(Shizune) _Then go buy some Tsunade has become very hectic!

Message 8: _(Genma) _But I used my last one in the last mission! What do I do now the store is closed for a break?

Message 9: _(Ibiki) _Look you're my partner in interrogation it can't be that bad! I mean Kakashi handled it pretty well and he just annoyed them until they talked!

**NEXT UP KURENAI... **_Hi if you are listening then you reached Kurenai, Asuma the date is at five don't be late, Anko I will not buy you any more dangos, Kakashi I will not put a genjutsu on your team so you can run off doing what ever you do, Genma I don't know where you put your last senbon, Shizune I hear that Tsunade hid some sake somewhere in her office just look, Gai for the last time I didn't steal your secret stash of spandexes, Ibiki and Iruka I will not speak with Anko about substituting for you guys!_

Message 1: _(Asuma) _What makes you think I would be late? Hey do you think Anko would be willing to go with this really nice guy I happen to know?

Message 2: _(Anko) _Aw…please tell me you aren't too busy spending all your money on pairing me up are you? Cause I'd rather have the dangos!

Message 3: _(Kakashi) _Ah so you do have a date with Asuma. I need to congratulate him, but I can't congratulate you with my team behind me all the time. Just do it once it won't be that bad.

Message 4: _(Genma) _Are you sure? Cause Anko said that you would have a clue…

Message 5: _(Shizune) _You don't think I've tried? I've pulled the office upside down! I can't find anything!

Message 6: _(Gai over Kakashi's phone again) _I believe you my trusted comrade, but you are not eliminated for the list! / Gai what have I told you! Get off my phone, and out of my house! / But my ever so youthful rival I'm in the middle of messaging ever beautiful and youthful Kurenai! / I don't care! Get out!

Message 7: _(Ibiki and Iruka) _WHY NOT? COME ON PLEASE!

**NEXT SHIZUNE… **_Hi I can't reach the phone right now, but try again later I am in search for some sake for Tsunade-sama! Thank you for trying to call me! Oh you've reached Shizune!_

Message 1: _(Iruka and Ibiki) _We'll hook you up with some sake if you substitute for us.

Message 2: _(Kurenai) _I heard that Asuma found some guys that are interested in you! Call me back after your done with Tsunade-sama!

Message 3: _(Kakashi) _What is my next mission for my team?

Message 4: _(Anko) _BUY ME DANGOS!

Message 5: _(Gai) _I took my eternal rival's advice and got a phone just as youthful as his! Now have you seen my spandexes?

Message 6: _(Genma) _Could you find out when the senbon store is reopening?

Message 7: (Asuma) Do you know Kurenai's favorite flowers?

**NEXT ASUMA…** _Hi you've reached Asuma, Kakashi I don't have any Icha Icha Kurenai burned my secret stash you lent me last time she spent- I mean last time she was watching me while I was sick, Anko I won't buy you dangos, Iruka find somebody else to sub you too Ibiki I have a squad to look after, Genma do you have any tips on girls if not then go away, Gai I will not help you with getting a hip attitude, Shizune I hear there are some guys who have their eye out for you!_

Message 1: _(Kakashi) _Dude you don't have to hide I know that you and Kurenai are a couple, congrats man. Anyways bro I seriously need some Icha Icha Anko and Sakura tag teamed and burned my set! Dude come on you got to have some more!

Message 2: _(Anko) _Dude I won't make you buy me dangos. That'd count as a date and we both know that isn't happening.

Message 3: _(Iruka and Ibiki) _COME ON! WHY?

Message 4: _(Genma) _Bro seriously just pull on the romantic gestures. A rose is always good. Nothing too flattery or expensive. Simple, but romantic is the way to go. Don't upset the girl! Too much romanticizing scares a girl off because they are the lovey-dovey not the guys!

Message 5: _(Gai) _But you are just as hip as Kakashi! Teach me your youthful hipness!

Message 6: (Shizune) Thank you for the tip!

**NEXT IRUKA…** _Hi don't bother leaving any messages unless you want to sub…!_

Message 1: _(Kakashi) _Wow you seemed really stressed about a sub. I'll do it if you can handle my team! They have 5 D-ranks! One of them is cleaning the hokage monument, and another is finding Tora!

Message 2: _(Kurenai) _Wow…then I guess I gotta hang up.

Message 3: _(Asuma) _Well then see you!

Message 4: _(Shizune) _Sorry Tsunade-sama is angry I didn't get her sake fast enough. I have way too much paperwork to sub for you…

Message 5: _(Anko) _Sorry I would but…that's all I got for the excuse…

Message 6: _(Ibiki) _I feel your pain. Message 7: _(Genma) _If that's the case then why in the world did I pick up this phone?

Message 8: _(Gai) _I WILL SUB WITH YOUTH!

NEXT GENMA… _You've reached the love doctor Genma, Asuma I do have more tips, Kakashi my last set got burned by Shizune last week, Shizune I vow to help with your paperwork, Gai leave me alone, Kurenai if you need help finding another guy if Asuma doesn't work out I have a list waiting for you, Anko I hear Kakashi has had his eye on you and wants to buy you dangos, Ibiki and Iruka hang up now._Message 1: _(Asuma) _You know I've been trying to pair up Anko with guys I'm really good friends with, but darn. You're good. Message 2: _(Kakashi) _You just had to go there! Since when did I ever say that? Other than that are you sure that you don't have any more copies?

Message 3: _(Shizune) _If you vow where are you then?

Message 4: _(Gai) _YOUTH!

Message 5: _(Kurenai) _Genma you are like a brother to me, but if it came down to it I would chose Asuma's life over yours.

Message 6: _(Anko) _DID KAKASHI REALLY SAY THAT? I mean I don't care at all…*grumbling and sighing probably daydreaming*

Message 7: _(Iruka and Ibiki) _….

**NEXT IBIKI… **_Hi don't bother calling if you aren't going to sub._

Message 1: _(Asuma) _Harsh…

Message 2: _(Anko) _Well then…

Message 3: _(Kakashi) _Okay! It's so much fun! Although you'd have to take care of my team…

Message 4: _(Kurenai) _Wow…

Message 5: _(Iruka) _You are probably having no luck right?

Message 6: _(Shizune) _I'd love to, but paperwork…

Message 7: _(Gai) _I would but interrogation is very unyouthful…

**GAI… **_YOUTH BE WITH YOU!_

Message 1: _(Kakashi) _If anybody asks I don't know you.

Message 2: _(Asuma) _Well there goes my eardrums.

Message 3: _(Anko) _I thought I could be obnoxious.

Message 4: _(Genma) _Why the heck am I even calling?

Message 5: _(Kurenai) _I would say something, but I was taught if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.

Message 6: _(Ibiki and Iruka) _Never mind…

**KAKASHI LAST IS BEST… **_Yo, you've reached Kakashi Hatake, Anko I will consider buying you dangos, Genma I don't need your love tips, Asuma if you want to romance Kurenai be yourself, Kurenai like I said to Asuma be yourself, Gai I don't want your spandexes, Shizune I would help file though I can't, Ibiki and Iruka I'll sub if you watch my team._

Message 1: _(Anko) _Right after the spar right?

Message 2: _(Genma) _Don't go hating on the love doctor! He go all loco on you!

Message 3: _(Asuma) _Wow that was simple and romantic. Genma said that was a good thing in a relationship!

Message 4: _( Kurenai) _That was the sweetest thing I've ever heard you say. I'm proud my influence is rubbing off!

Message 5: _(Gai) _Why they are so youthful?

Message 6: _(Shizune) _That's what they all say!

Message 7: _(Ibiki and Iruka) _IT'S A DONE DEAL!

THE END!

Kakashi and Anko did spar and hang out. Turns out Asuma proposed that night. Genma helped out Shizune. Gai got some use out of technology. Ibiki and Iruka got a sub, but let's just say that they wished they had looked harder than stick with the deal they had made. Other than a couple set backs it ended pretty good. Who knew messages were so useful? Yes there was a hint, okay maybe more than a hint of pairings! So what can't a person have fun once in a while? Anyways I hoped you enjoyed! Ja ne!


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